Yes, I’m still alive…

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Hey everyone,

sorry for not posting anything on here for six weeks, but I there was just too much going on in my life as well as in my psyche, as I had a depressive episode again, which really blocks me from writing every single time – grrr! But, I was not stuck in that depressive episode for the whole 6 weeks, I also went abroad – I’ve been to London & Brighton with my mother for five days, and then I spent almost a week in Czech Republic, which feels more and more like home to me.

After returning home, I had to study for the final exams of the spring semester, and I also had to write a few papers that were due during the last 2 weeks.


Our new shoe cabinet… I love it ❤

I don’t know whether you guys know the feeling of simply wanting to run away, to some place you’ve never been to.. To some place you don’t even know where that is. Just leave everything behind, start all over again?! That’s a feeling that I have had quite often during the last two months… and as usually, I start trying to embellish my apartment, clean up, put new furniture and decoration up etc. etc. Not that anything would really push me away here, where I live, but sometimes I feel like nothing really keeps me here either. I know that I would miss my friends and family terribly, but well, I can’t help it, the feeling just keeps coming back.
D. and I started the project by finally buying a shoe cabinet at “Conforama”. I liked the design of it a lot, as we had a great time in London back in September 2012… 🙂 And as I’ve been just there in my Easter break, I loved the idea of having a tiny little piece of London in our apartment even more. 🙂 And even more I love the fact that I won’t have to search through a chaotic pile of shoes in every morning… 😀

But we did not only get a new shoe cabinet, we also got a few plants and decoration for our beautiful balcony. We bought a “fuchsia”, a small lavender tree, a lavender bush, a peony and a rambler rose, which should all be frost resistant and embellish our balcony for many years. I love the scent of lavender. It always reminds me of the summer and autumn holidays I used to spend with my family in southern France close to the Mediterranean Sea, and it always helps calming down after a stressful day at uni or at work. We also try to raise some tomatoes and pepperonis and chillies on our balcony, and I’m really wondering what we will be harvesting in the next few weeks… 😀 And we put up brand new solar lights… 🙂 I can’t wait to spend log evenings with friends, some barbecue and some cocktails on there… Summer’s just my favorite time of the year… 🙂

My Balcony May 2014

My newly decorated balcony… Even my tomcat Belial loves it 🙂

So, and now I should definitely get my Czech books and do some exercises, otherwise my Czech-German-Tandem-partner Lukáš won’t be amused at all… :-S But it is so much fun to study a new language and realizing that you are finally making progress… 🙂

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4 thoughts on “Yes, I’m still alive…

  1. Ach Mäuschen, solche Phasen, in denen man am liebsten am Nordpol oder Australien ganz neu anfangen will, kenne ich auch. Ich habe auch gerade das Bedürfnis andere Leute und Länder zu sehen. Einfach mal weg, ab in den Flieger und sehen was so auf einen zu kommt. Eigentlich doof, dass man immer “vernünftig” ist und das nicht einfach mal macht.
    Fühl dich gedrückt & genknutscht, Steffi ♥

    P.S. Euer Balkon sieht toll aus 🙂

    • Danke Mausi ❤ Naja, das blosse Bedürfnis danach hab' ich ständig… Aber so richtig den Drang und die Lust, alles hinzuschmeissen und einfach zu gehen, das hab ich zum Glück nur hin und wieder… Aber ja, bisher war ich auch immer vernünftig und hab höchstens kurze Trips unternommen, die auch so ihre Wunder bewirkt und wieder Energie für den ganz alltäglichen Wahnsinn geliefert haben… Mal schauen, was mich in diesen Semesterferien so erwartet… Von wann bis wann hast Du eigentlich Urlaub? Vielleicht schaffen wir's ja endlich mal, uns irgendwo zu treffen? 🙂

  2. Welcome back. I’m glad to hear that you’re on an upward swing; I know and understand how truly debilitating depression can be.

    I love the plants you added – I find a little green always changes the feeling of a place, in a positive way. I hope it’s a sign of positive things to come for you!

    • Thank you so much for the kind words. Depression is always so paralizing, and I hope I’ll keep stable now for as long as possible…. :-/ i also love the planta – just the scent of them gives you the feeling of being on holiday 😀


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